Thoughts created by me include the mental activity that we consciously choose to do. These include planning, working, calculating, computing, watching something (videos) listening to something (such as podcasts), reading, studying, focusing, concentrating, paying attention, etc.
The other mental activity that we do not consciously create is what we find our mind engaged with all the time. These include the monologues in our mind with ourselves, the dialogues we carry out mentally with an imaginary person, the voices of others in our mind telling us what not to do, memories of past events, worries about the future, fantasising, imagining, dreaming, etc. We are habituated to this and so it seems to be happening effortlessly and automatically, although we are doing it. We don’t know how to stop it.
To understand what are spontaneous arising thoughts and how engagement with these thoughts results in the mental activity of thinking and the alternative is to simply be a disengaged witness, please read the following article.
Selvan Srinivasan · 1y
What happens when we meditate? What visuals are playing in the mind?
Go visit a beautiful river flowing and simply sit by the river bank and watch the water flowing by. Visuals of leaves or random articles or fishes may appear and flow away. We have no control over what arises in our visual field and whether we like it or not we are neither able to hold it or push it away. Things keep coming up and going away. We are simply sitting and witnessing it flow by without doing anything about it. We are not affected by whatever flows by. Now visualise that you are in a boat or a small canoe or raft flowing with the river. This experience would be completely different from that of sitting by the bank and witnessing. Now you are shaken, swayed and bumped around, it is like a roller coaster ride. The same thing happens during meditation and normal awake living, mentally rather than physically. During normal life we are sitting in the canoe and flowing with the river. During meditation we choose to step out of the river and sit by the bank and watch. We are seeing with our inner eyes and the river flowing is the mental activity happening. The point is not about what flows but about choosing to remain a detached witness, allowing whatever arises to simply flow by. I am not sure if you are a beginner considering the practice of meditation or if you already have a regular practice just wanting to check if your experiences can be validated. The following two articles would be helpful in either case. For more information and plenty of free resources to aid with the practice of meditation and deep healing, please visit my website.